August 04, 2004

Does your candidate stink?

There is a phrase that is often used when either a hard core conservative or hard core liberal goes to vote for a candidate that kinda sorta is in tune with their point of view but doesn't really get their juices flowing. That phrase is "I think I am going to hold my nose and vote for X." Speaking personally, the times this happened was in 1988 for Bush41(where I just lightly pinched my nose), and 1992(Bush43) and 1996(Bob Dole)(where I used a vice grip pliers). In '88 I felt there were better candidates to carry on Reagan's legacy than Bush41, and by 1992, I was proven right. The only thing I liked about Bob Dole as a candidate was that he wasn't Pat Buchanan. If had had my druthers, I would have vastly preferred Kemp/Dole to Dole/Kemp. Kemp had vision and confidence, Dole didn't. The result of nose-holding was obvious. With the exception of 1988, when I held my nose while voting, the candidate I voted for lost.

This got me thinking recently. If the ideologically committed have to crinkle their nose while voting for a candidate, how popular is this candidate going to be with swing voters, who need a compelling reason to vote for him? Is it possible that the winner of an election is the one who has the least number of people from his own party holding their nose while voting for the candidate? If, for example, 10% of Dems are holding their nose while voting for Kerry, but 25% of the GOPare holding their nose while voting for Bush, will Bush lose the election?

This was an interesting question, which I thought needed some more investigation. Being a person of very modest means, though, exactly how would I be able to figure this out? I can't just go hire Zogby to go ask Republican and Democrat voters about this. I ain't got that kinda scratch.

Then the thought occurred to me. What about Google? I could do a google search on the phrase "hold {my|your} nose and vote for {bush|kerry}" and see the number of results I would get. If the numbers balance out, the race should be close. If the numbers don't balance out, then the winner of the election should be the loser of the "hold my nose vote."

The first step was to try the google search hold your nose and vote for {bush|kerry}, and these were the results:

hold my nose and vote for bush 95,900

hold my nose and vote for kerry 25,700

Looks bad for Bush, right? Except there is one big problem. In this list, there are just as many people who are saying they will vote for someone else, because Bush is evil(Really, how many people on WorkingforChange are going to vote for any Republican?). So Bush and Kerry both get a lot of false positives. Not only that, but there is a lot of third party leakage as well("Don't hold your nose and vote for Bush|Kerry. Vote Libertarian|Green instead."). So we need to clean the list up a bit. So, instead of searching on the individual words "hold," "my," "nose," "and," "vote," "for," "Bush|Kerry," we need to search on the entire phrase "hold my nose and vote for {Bush|Kerry}". When that is done, the results change drastically:

"hold my nose and vote for Bush" 133

"hold my nose and vote for kerry" 8660

The results of this search are wildly different. All those who will "hold my nose and vote for Bush" would nearly all be considered right of center. All those who "hold my nose and vote for kerry" are nearly all left of center--and there is a wild, enormous disparity in the number.

There is also one scenario to consider. What about those who not only are holding their nose and voting for Bush or Kerry, but also want you to hold your nose and vote for Bush or Kerry? What are those results?

"hold your nose and vote for bush" 36

"hold your nose and vote for kerry" 233

The results are a lot smaller, but we find another interesting tidbit. The number one site for "hold your nose and vote for kerry" is a site called Holdyournose.org which states:

But you look at John Kerry and something smells bad.Perhaps it's some particular policy position that grates on you. Maybe it's the way he looks. Maybe it's the fact that he represents a political party that you've always considered to be the fountain of pure evil.

What's the solution? Hold your nose! Put your personal views aside for a moment and work together with millions of other American voters in your state to vote for Kerry and kick Bush out of office.

What does this mean? That even Democrats, hardcore base democrats have a problem with voting for Kerry.

So what is the upshot of all this? Frankly, I think Kerry is toast, and Bush is on his way to winning a 45 state victory. As a candidate, Kerry stinks, not only in the colloquial opposite of good sense of the word, but in the literal experience of olfactory sense. If Democrats are walking into the voting booth with the same expression one finds when encountering three day old roadkill, why should independents vote for the guy?

Update:Oh, and one other thing. When I first took a look at this, before the Democratic convention, the number of sites in the "hold my nose and vote for kerry" camp were 6600, the number in the Bush camp, 105. Still bad news for Kerry, as it means that even more people are holding their nose now that they got to hear him on prime time.

Update: Follow ups here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and a graph here

Update: Major Update! Now Nose Holding is automated, and you can put the graphs on your own site(I used PHP and jpgraph, so it will update automatically. Go Here for details. Meanwhile take a look at the current stats:

Posted by John Bono at August 4, 2004 05:59 PM| Link Cosmos

Did a link ask for annoying Registration? Bug me not!

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