August 12, 2004

Volunteering at the RNC convention

Well, I haven't made any posts today, and part of the reason was that I had volunteered for the RNC convention. This was the first training meeting they had. The training session was at John Jay College over on the west side of Manhattan around 59th street. I was late getting down to the site , mainly because I goofed and instead of taking the West Side Highway into the city, I instead took i-87 and wound up on the East side, which made me about 1/2 hour late.

Though I was 1/2 hour late, I didn't miss much, except standing in line. The line stretched pretty much from one end of the building to the other when I showed up, so I can only guess how long some people had been in line. A cameraman and a producer from CNN(They haven't filed their story yet, so I scooped 'em) was there, interviewing people in line. They didn't ask me any questions, though it probably would have been a short conversation.

"Excuse me sir, can I ask you some questions?"
"Sure, if you'll answer mine first. Why have you not called on John Kerry to release his military records in regards to Swiftgate, yet demanded the President submit himself to a proctology exam?

I don't think my interview would have been aired.

Anyway, I waited about 25 minutes in line, and was given a release form and a few questions to answer, then waited on another line. The curse in this case was being born with a last name that was between A and N. If I had the name of the puppy blender, I would have been able to waltz right in.

Well, after waiting on the two lines, and seeing a guy with the Reagan T-shirt, I was processed. The scene in the photo ID room was vaguely a cross between a scene from the movie Brazil and the "To Serve Man" episode from the Twilight Zone. There were about a dozen stations, each of which had a young HR/GOP person taking pictures of each person with a digicam for photo id, then checking ID. After getting my picture taken, and answering a few questions, I was ushered by two students dressed in black into an auditorium. For a moment I thought I saw a woman running into the room screaming, "IT'S A COOKBOOK!" but then realized it was the lack of caffeine.

Since I was literally the last guy there, I missed out on the initial video that I guess I was , so someone else who is volunteering and blogging can describe it for you. After the movie, Ed Koch came on the stage and gave a short speech. The speech was ok, and he brought up "nobility of service", etc. The one thing he stated was that(as best a quote as my notes can give me) "Your service is non-partisan." Sure my service is non-partisan. And if the Dem convention had been in New York, I probably would have volunteered--to be the designated streaker when John Kerry took the stage, or to hold the "What about Steven Pagones" banner when Al Sharpton spoke. Ed Koch closed by noting how being a volunteer could be a stepping stone to political office. Something tells me that if I would to do that, this website and its predecessor would be quoted extensively in the attack ads against me.

Ed Koch really didn't speak for that long(about 10-15 minutes), then he brought on the main event, motivational speaker Nate Brooks Nate was a good speaker, and his spiel was about how to make a good first impression, and help people out. His manner was engaging and upbeat(which I think is sort of a requirement for being a motivational speaker). About three quarters of the speech was devoted to greeting people, learning about their concerns, and fixing them. That leads me to believe that the majority of volunteers will be used as sort of a concierge-type service, greeting delegates at the airport, giving them tours of the city, and stuff like that. He did a neat trick with four guys where he had them sit on chairs, lie in each others laps, then take the chairs away, so they all were lying on each others' laps, but not getting any other support but the knees of the guys sitting behind them.

During the presentation, we were given tips on how to look someone in the eye without looking them in the eye, etc. I met the guy next to me(An attorney from the Bronx named Robert or Roger) and learned that if I stare at a person's pupil, bridge of the nose, or below the eyebrow, he thinks I'm looking him in the eye. Me and Roger/Robert had to do the eye staring thing for about 5 minutes, until we were both seriously skeeved out.

We learned how to shake hands(though most guys know how to do that well enough, being both men. Women, on the other hand, rarely shake hands properly, making you wonder whether she wants you to kiss her hand or shake it, or if she simply thinks your hand has cooties. We also learned how to learn about someone, their name, what they do and where(Which is how I learned that Roger/Robert was an attorney in the Bronx).

Well, that's about all I can remember off the top of my head at the moment. I've got to get going so the next group of items on the menu RNC convention volunteers can be prepared to be lunch for our alien masters get hand shake lessons.

Actually, it was a good time and relatively fruitful. I'll post any updates, and a new nose-holding update when I get home(There appears to be another major shift).

Posted by John Bono at August 12, 2004 08:19 PM| Link Cosmos

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