August 29, 2004

Moonbats in the mist

Originally, I was going to make a long, detailed blog post about being a volunteer for the convention, and how it was a pain in the tail to volunteer, with lots of small and great slights I endured.

After today, though, all those things are a distant memory. The reason why was because, from the moment I got on the Metro-North Train, I was stuck in the Land of Moonbat, with only a small break when I volunteered.

First, my morning. I went down to Bedford Hills, and got on the inbound train to Grand Central Station. Normally, on a Sunday Morning, this train is pretty empty. It is off peak, so the train runs hourly, and makes about 10 stops from the town of Southeast in Putnam County, to White Plains, in Westchester. If I'm not running late, I board up in Southeast. If I'm running late, I'll board farther south, because I can pick up about ten minutes by going on the expressway at seventy-fivethe posted speed limit, and stopping every 3 miles the way the train would.

With that in mind, I reach the Bedford Hills station about 20 minutes before the train arrives, and I go up to the ticket machine to buy a ticket. $16.50, off peak, round trip. I sit down on a bench on the platform, and wait for the train to arrive. As soon as the train reaches the platform, I see it. BUCK FUSH! Oh shit. It seems as though the Brewster Line(In Blue) is the Connecting Line from Vermont to Grand Central Station.

Ugh.

Here I am , in my stylin' Host Committee Volunteer Golf Shirt, and I'm stuck on the Moonbat Express. Take your pick of moonbats. Commie moonbats, enviromental wacko moonbats, and Moveon Moonbats. Never, in my life, have I more desparately wanted to be able to hand out a palletload of Ivory Soap. Also, never in my life have I so desparately wanted so many braless women to put bras on. Note to Lady Moonbats: Being braless at 60 isn't a political statement, it's a method to induce vomiting.

As I'm going down, I'm being quiet, listening to the moonbats talk to each other. "Oh, he's such a unilateralist." "We're killing thousands of innocent men, women, and children." "Vegetarianism is a great way to get in touch with nature." Mr. Vegetarian, whom I heard speak often of the environment in hushed tones to his seatmate, eats a bananna and an orange. After eating the orange and bananna, having the peels left over, he(amazingly enough), does the civic minded thing, and asks the conductor where to discard the peels. After the conductor tells him to throw it out in the trash when we reach Grand Central Station, he manages to do the most appropriate moonbat thing: He throws the peels under his seat.

As we file out of the train, I took a few pictures of the moonbats as they filed out of the train. Because I forgot to get a flash, and because my camera sucked, though I did manage to snag a couple of them:

After that initial brush with moonbattery, I went to the Sheraton on 53rd and 7th Avenue. to do my bit as a volunteer. The Sheraton on 53rd and Seventh Avenue is not the Sheraton on 51st and Seventh Avenue, something that the volunteer committee could have mentioned when I signed up. They are, nonetheless, about 200 feet apart. My job, which was "valuable" according to the Volunteer committee, was to go to the airport and hold this sign:

I also got an ID, to show how important I was(sorry, no picture--my scanner sucks). We go to the airport, and stand near the baggage carosel. This was similar to what I did Friday, except this time, I was in Newark, and not LaGuardia. Each time we see someone we think might be a delegate, we're supposed to say, "Welcome to New York." Except, we're not in New York, but in New Jersey, and most of the people coming aren't delegates, since most of them arrived in New York on Saturday. We do our "Welcomes for about 3 hours, and the head volunteer guy tells us to pack it in. Nonetheless, we do bag one delegate, who rides with us on the bus back to the Sheraton.

Unlike Friday, today, the joint is jumpin'. Delegates are all over the place, in suits etc. My home state is there, though I didn't see anyone I recognized. The governor is from my home town, didn't see her either. Jodi, in case anyone from your office reads this, my dad says Hi. I went in to the hotel, bought a Viva Bush! pin, and set out on my intrepid quest to photograph the moonbat in its natural habitat.

As I leave the hotel, I stop and ask a cop how to get to the moonbat gathering. He looks at me, looks at my volunteer golf shirt, my Viva Bush! pin, and thinks I am insane. I tell him that I'm going so I can take pictures, and later mock the protesters on the internet, and we become best buds. He listens to the radio, and tells me the moonbats are hanging out around Madison Square Garden, and if I go there, I'm bound to run into them.

So, with that knowledge, I head down to the subway, and take the train to MSG. I don't actually want to go to the garden. I just want to get outside the garden so I can watch the moonbats in their natural habitat. However, it seems as if every entrance from under MSG to the outside world is blocked by cops, and there are dozens of signs which point people to exits which are also blocked. Finally, I have to completely retrace my steps, and make it to the outside world. Leaving the entrance, MSG is about a block and a half away. I hear the sound of the mating call of the moonbat(drums, you know), and walk down 32nd street to meet up with them--and this is where the fun really begins.

(A bit of a dial up warning for you folks running 56K)

When I approach the parade of moonbats, they denote the seriousness of their cause by mocking the deaths of American troops.

Of course, when moonbats hold a mock funeral, they need a mock mourner. And nothing says, "I'm an insane lefty moonbat" than wearing a pair of speedos:

And no mock funeral is complete without mock funeral drummers:

Of course, if you are going to have a mock funeral, you also need a giant puppet. A mock funeral is just no good without a giant puppet.

Of course, the Moonbats aren't just about the war. They also want to preserve the environment:

Then of course, being lefty moonbats, moral equivalence is the theme of the day:

Yep. That's right. Because GWB killed a few terrorists on the way to ending a genocidal regime, he is just the same as Saddam Hussein, who killed over a million people, and terrorized an entire nation, all so for his own power.

I don't know. I think Bush does better with the Klingon demographic:

Let them eat war. Or a badly painted cardboard sign:

Off in the distance, I saw a kindred spirit. The Protest Warriors were in town, and gave a sole note of sanity to the vast pool of insanity I saw:

The problem was that in order to get there, I had to cross under Broadway using the subway stop, though they had a few good signs:

As much as I wanted to stay and talk to these guys, that wasn't my mission today. As a Minion of the Great Satan, my mission was not to lend support, but to use my wiles to investigate and expose the moonbats. So, reluctantly, I bid adieu, and discovered yet another example of moonbat environmentalism:

Free the Protozoa Six!

I walked 15 blocks, and this was the first Che T-Shirt I saw. I felt cheated:

Dark Helmet was there:

This picture is particularly despicable. The moonbats took a flag that was over 108 years old, painted a peace sign on it, and let people walk on it. The flag had been through 7 wars, seen 6 states added to the union, and these moonbats saw fit to deface it and walk on it:

"Capitalism is evil! Bush is Evil! Want to buy a T-Shirt?"

If I spelled Hypocrisy using Anti War posters, would that have some deeper meaning?

"I'm not a transvestite. I'm just expressing my solidary with oppressed women everywhere. Oh, and I'm insane too."

Modern Moonbat Technology--inflatable puppets:

"$15 for one--$25 for two, and our Moonbat credentials are impeccable!

And you can't be an moonbat without an incomprehensible dance routine:

Hey, did someone bring the paper mache tank? Where's the paper mache tank? We can't have a protest without a paper mache tank!

Look! A moonbat environmentalist!

Look! Moonbat Environmentalism!

And Fox News had an appearance--sorta:

You can't read the shirt--but it says "Terrorism American Style". There is some significance to placement of the buttons. What, I'm not exactly sure:

Orange Jumpsuit? Check. Incoherent political slogan? Check. T-shirt sales? So-so.

"$15? We'll sell them for $5! We're Blowing them out the door! Crazy Moonbat, his prices are INSANE!"

More spoiled than Alec Baldwin.
More insane than Howard Dean.
Able to leap vast logic in a single bound.

Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's SuperMoonbat!

And that was my trip to New York. I don't think I'll be taking the train for a while.

Posted by John Bono at August 29, 2004 11:28 PM| Link Cosmos

Did a link ask for annoying Registration? Bug me not!

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