September 18, 2004

It's called a Slowplay

Via Wizbang!

In the Rush for a Scoop, CBS Found Trouble Fast

NEW YORK — It was 11 a.m. on Sept. 8 — nine hours before "60 Minutes" was to air. But as news executives debated whether to broadcast a story on newly obtained paperwork offering fresh evidence about President Bush (news - web sites)'s National Guard service, a big question hung over CBS News' Westside headquarters: Were the photocopied documents real or fake?

"Hello, and Welcome to tonight's installment of the White House Poker Tour. I'm Vince Van Patten, and next to me is poker professional Mike Sexton, and tonight we have two stars of the poker world duking it out. In the three seat, George 'Crawford Slim' Bush, and in the seven seat, Dan 'Courage' Rather."

"Yeah, Vince, this promises to be one hell of a tournament. We've seen a bunch of top notch players get knocked out so far. Ann 'Big Hair' Richards got knocked out losing with a pair of kings to Crawford Slim's aces over, and Albert "the Tennesee Geek" Gore was knocked out when his Aces over Queens was edged out by Crawford Slim's pair of Kings, and we've seen loads of disappointment here today, with Howard "Screamer" Dean, Osama 'Road Pizza' Bin Laden and Saddam 'the Whino' Hussein also getting crushed by Crawford Slim's masterful play."

"Well, Mike, we're down to the final two players, so let's watch while they shuffle up and deal. Crawford Slim gets dealt a pair of Rockets and Mike, as you well know, it is really tough to beat a pair of Aces before the flop."

"That's right, Vince, and Dan's staring at a KQ suited. It looks good, but I wonder if Dan's middle name is going to help him out on this one. He's going to need all the courage he can muster to beat a pair of Aces."

"Well, Mike, let's watch and see what Crawford Slim does."

Suddenly, the answer seemed to materialize, and from an unlikely source — the White House itself.

John Roberts, the network's White House correspondent, called to report he'd just completed an on-camera interview with Dan Bartlett, the White House communications director. Bartlett, it appeared, had no quarrel with the authenticity of the documents.

"Did I just see that right? Did Crawford Slim just call with a pair of Aces?"

"Yes, Vince, and I can't believe it. It looks like Crawford Slim is prepared to slow play the hand. As you know Vince, a slowplay is a risky strategy. 'Courage' Rather could catch up and beat him."

"Rather just raised Bush nearly a quarter of his stack of chips! Mike, it looks like this might be the hand 'Courage' Rather is going to bet to win the tournament."

"Right Vince, but let's not forget, Crawford Slim is holding that pair of aces, and I'm certain he's smiling a little smile on the inside right now."

"Look at that acting job, Mike. Bush has this strange pained expression on his face. It is almost like he is in pain holding back a smirk."

"Well, Vince, I'd be holding back a smirk too if I was holding Aces. And there he goes, he's called Rather's bet, and we're going to see a flop."

"If we had gotten back from the White House any kind of red flag, raised eyebrow, anything that said, 'Are you sure about this stuff?' we would have gone back to square one," Josh Howard, the program's executive producer, told the Los Angeles Times in an interview Friday. "The White House said they were authentic, and that carried a lot of weight with us."

"Here comes the flop, Mike, and look at that flop. Ace King Queen, and it looks like it hit both Bush and Rather hard. 'Courage' is probably pleased as punch that he got such a great hand, but he's in trouble now and doesn't know it.

"Boy, is he Vince. There's nothing worse than having a great hand, and finding out at the end that you are holding the second best hand. I can't see how Rather can't bet, now that he's holding two pair."

"But he's in real trouble Mike, Crawford Slim is holding trip Aces."

"That's right, Vince, but 'Courage' doesn't realize that. He thinks he's got the best hand, and he's got to bet that hand."

"Well Mike, it looks like Dan is going to bet the hand...Wow! What a bet! And take a look at Crawford Slim. He looks like the cat that swallowed the canary."

"Well, Vince, George Bush is going to play this slow. He's got 'Courage' Rather right where he wants him, and he just needs to bait that hook."

"Look at this Mike, he just called the bet. I would have expected him to go and raise Rather, but he just called."

"Why should he raise now, Vince? He's got three Aces, he has to know at this point that he probably has the best ;hand, and he has the best draw."

"Mike, we've got a bet, it's been called, and now we're going to see the turn."

The story aired that night, and Dan Rather, the CBS News anchor, seemed to have scored yet another coup in his broadcasting career.

"And here comes a deuce on the turn. Mike, what do you think is going through these players' heads right now?"

"Well, Vince, both players probably think they've got this hand in the bag. But Bush has this hand locked up tight."

"The action's over to Rather, and he's mulling his bet. Do you think he has a clue that he is drawing dead, Mike?"

"Well if he does, Vince I don't see it. And how would he be able to tell? Crawford Slim's hasn't given any information on the hand. He hasn't moved his head or even twitched. He has been stone cold since beginning of the hand.

"Mike, it looks like Dan's going to make another big bet, and Crawford Slim calls the bet again. Mike, 'Courage' Rather's got to believe something is up by now."

"Well, Vince, you would think that having been called three times might give him an inkling, but it doesn't seem to have phased him at all. He still thinks he's got Crawford Slim on the ropes. But we know better, don't we?"

"Yes we do Mike, and he comes the final card.

Hours later, the roof fell in.

Critics, many of them Internet-based, immediately charged that CBS had relied on phony documents from a shadowy, unnamed source. Rather, 72, long a target for conservative critics, was again fending off allegations of liberal bias. A growing chorus of media observers voiced distress that CBS had hurried a story onto the air without fully checking the facts.

And Friday evening, the White House denied that it ever confirmed the documents as authentic. "For them to suggest that [the interview was] an endorsement or ratification of the documents is a terrible stretch of reality," Bartlett said in an interview.

He also disclosed that he had shown the documents that morning to President Bush. "He had no recollection of these specific documents," Bartlett said, though the president said some of the information seemed accurate. For instance, he did go to Alabama. But he denied having defied orders from his superiors, Bartlett said.

"Look Mike, another King! That gives both Courage and Crawford Slim a full house!"

"Yes, Vince, but Dan's only got Kings full of Queens, but Crawford Slim's got Aces full of Kings. If Dan's smart, he has to ask why Bush has been calling him all the way--

"LOOK! Dan's raising all in! He's going for it all!"

"He should have thought that out a bit more, Vince. He should have realized something was up when Crawford Slim called on the turn that something was wrong."

"And Bush is calling! It's over! Dan 'Courage' Rather is busted out! George 'Crawford Slim' Bush is the new champion of the White House Poker Tour!"

---

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what is referred to as slowplaying a winning hand. And after watching the Whitehouse in Rathergate, I have to say, it was a masterful slowplay.

Posted by John Bono at September 18, 2004 07:29 PM| Link Cosmos

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