October 13, 2004

How to tell the New A-Team Movie is going to suck

"A-Team" Movie Ramping Up

According to Cannell, the A-Team flick will be updated to reflect current political issues. The film will also forego the cartoonish nature of the tube version in favor of more serious action ? la Die Hard and Lethal Weapon.

That's right. The movie will have officially Jumped the Shark at the opening credits. Even worse, all that political "relevance" will turn it into a "Very special episode" as well. Thanks guys. There is nothing worse than watching my high school show of mindless escape get turned into something deep and relevant. Just don't touch my VHS collection of Riptide.

"Not to denigrate the TV show, but nobody ever died," the producer says in Variety. "We drove cars off cliffs and people got out and walked away. We're not going to do that [in the movie]. In this the tone is more dangerous-you can really die. It's very tense and exciting."

I don't get it. Why do producers try to take the one thing that made the show fun the schlocky unreality of the thing, and try to get all gritty and realistic, especially since it makes the show less realistic? Watch the original Adam West Batman: the Movie vs. any of the "Dark Knight" pieces of dreck. The original--funny, witty, and enjoyable. The remakes--dull, ponderous and groan inducing. I never felt the need to deeply investigate why Bruce Wayne kept a teenage boy around the house on the original movie and series-- but the later movies, with rubber suits with nipples on them, made you wonder exactly why Batman went hunting criminals in S&M gear.

That is how I know the new A-Team is going to suck, without having seen a single frame. You don't mess with schlock.

Posted by John Bono at October 13, 2004 01:14 AM| Link Cosmos

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